Real World Portland: How to Play the Game

Real World Portland | Ep. 6 | Recap

This picture is very representative of how last week’s episode of Real World Portland went, or at least the second half. I kept wondering when the big fight was going to happen; I should have known right at the end.

This episode starts out with Nia talking about the book she’s writing, a how-to guide for women on dating and keeping professional athletes called “How to Play the Game.” Marlon seems to think this book idea is gold, but I find it kind of stupid. I guess that doesn’t mean people won’t buy it because people buy plenty of stupid products, but I just…I don’t get it. And although she claims to have dated professional athletes, I don’t see where her experience in “keeping” these athletes comes from. I wouldn’t think there’s a huge demographic of women trying to marry professional athletes, but maybe I’m wrong and naive!

Jordan meets a girl at a bar (Molli?) and they plan to go to dinner. Sadly, he gets stood up. Molli calls back later and claims her phone died and she couldn’t get a hold of him, but by then he’d already joined the roommates at the pizza restaurant. While it is funny/ironic that this happened to by far the cockiest one in the house, I thought Nia was a big bitch about it and when she told Molli on the phone that Jordan was so sad and depressed and went drinking alone, I just thought, why? What’s the point? She wants to mess with his head, I get it, but I think she takes it too far to a very immature level.

Nia’s immaturity continues when she starts working at the pizza place with Jordan, Marlon and Avery. And I use “working” loosely here. The first day, she stands around and ends up going home because doesn’t feel well but then asks if there’s a liquor store nearby? The next day, she calls in sick, and the next day, she stands around and does nothing and takes smoke breaks and talks on the phone. I understand this isn’t the most glamorous job, but really? Nia obviously has a huge ego (duh) and obviously thinks she’s way too good for this job. I know roommates have gotten fired from jobs in past seasons, so we’ll see how this continues… I also think the story about her sister’s birthday was a 100 percent LIE.

And of course, what we all were waiting for. The big fight between Jordan and Nia. Jordan comes home from the bar hammered so Nia finds this to be the perfect opportunity to eff with him. Again, I don’t understand. SOMEONE EXPLAIN HER INTENTIONS TO ME. I agree with Marlon; I think she likes Jordan, likes to flirt with him and just wants to sound like a bad bitch and say she’s messing with him. Another question I have is, do you think he really has a small you-know-what or is Nia just saying that? I have to wonder!

Anyway, Nia is all over Jordan when he gets home and keeps coming in and out of his room while he’s laying down, more flirting and egging him on. At one point, she tells him to just “keep his hand in his pocket” when he’s out and he’ll be fine picking up girls. Annnd that’s where she hits the nerve. The roommates (and I agreed) previously thought that Jordan’s insecurities weren’t about his hand. But when Nia made that comment, he looked shocked and hurt and there really was no Jordan-esque comeback like there has been to most of her shenanigans. I was very surprised by his reaction and thought her comment was out of line. But plenty got out of line…

Jordan spits popcorn in Nia’s face and apparently that just sets her off. She storms out and back to her room and what do you know, he follows her. The fight blows up with Nia threatening to hit Jordan with a lamp (?)…her crazy starts to come out. She starts freaking out about him coming in her room when she’s trying to sleep when…wait, didn’t she just do that to him? Yep. While Marlon is trying to break up the fight, Jordan starts to make monkey noises at Nia, and it just blows up even more from there. In my opinion, neither is more at fault than the other. They both crossed the line (with the hand comment and the monkey noises) and they both just took it too far. It looks like next week Marlon is yelling at Jordan for the racist actions, but in my opinion, the hand comment was just as bad! Why can she say cruel, hurtful things to him about the way he was born but he can’t?

Surprisngly (and randomly), I’m starting to like Anastasia. She still wears too much horrendous makeup for my taste, but she seems to be the voice of reason lately. There’s my random tidbit on her.

What did you think of last week’s episode (once again, I’m late…my bad)? Do you think Nia’s book idea is a good one? Do you think she’s a golddigger? Who did you think was to blame for the blowout between Nia and Jordan? Let me know your thoughts!

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